AUGUST ROUND UP

August was busy, crazy busy. But I managed some quiet moments and I felt great mentally. I did feel physically unwell most of it, fighting off a weird fluey bug, aching bones, headaches, swollen glands, sore throat. This came and went, came and went, and left me feeling tired and poorly. Not enough to have time off work or need to see a doctor, or even really be 'sick' but enough to slow me a bit, and want a lot of sleep. But you know, I survived!

At work I have been juggling multiple projects, on top of my usual work, each of them inching along slowly, but starting to form into something great as the month progressed. A few weeks prior to going on leave right at the end of the month I did have a minor anxiety attack when I looked at what I needed to achieve prior to my holidays to ensure they all came off as well as I wanted to, but I managed to work my way through them. This is the kind of stress I do well in...mostly...anxiety attacks aside!

One of my projects is a Social Media talk for seniors, I have done many of these before but not on this scale. It will be presented at the very end of September and will (hopefully) turn into multiple one on one sessions over the following months. At the time of writing it has been very popular which is incredibly exciting, and I had better actually finish putting the presentation together! The other project is one I have wanted to do for a long time, Rocktober. Children of the late 70s and early 80s will remember Rocktober! So Rocktober will turn Swansea Library into all things musical during October. I have a lot of things in the mix, and so far it is going as I hoped, more information to follow. The final project I can't talk about yet...but soon...and it's fucking fantastic!!!!!!

We also put up a magnificent Book Week Display, had schools visit us for storytimes, showcased local embroidery, discussed The 100 Year Old Man at Bookclub, had my baby storytime, and watched The Matrix at Movie Night. I really love the diversity of my work.

I have also been out and about in the community of Swansea and surrounding areas, spreading the word about Swansea Library, feeling like a preacher, but hopefully not coming across like one! This is an ongoing project for some years now but it's gaining momentum and I'm feeling the love with those I am collaborating with. This includes my wonderful team and the people we are working with, mostly schools during this past month or so. I am just hoping all this hard work will result in better statistics and more people walking through our doors. So much to compete with these days, but libraries are still relevant and exciting places to visit...so make sure you visit your local library!!

I started the month with a lovely family dinner, we don't do this as regularly as we should, but it's always fun when we do. My niece and nephew - the loves of my life - are growing up so beautifully and are smart, funny, but normal kids. My sister and brother-in-law are doing good!

I finally got to have a meal at Foghorn Brewery, at an ALIA (Library) function. I had their Foghorn Burger and their locally brewed Summer Ale - both great. It has a lovely atmosphere and interesting design, you can see the vats and beer brewing, very industrial, hip, and cool. After the long lunch, I took a long work in the sun, and then checked out a few exhibits at Newcastle Art Gallery. The bottom floor was closed for a new exhibit but upstairs had a few interesting small exhibits. Brett McMahon's Installation was large pieces of geometric abstracts and mixed media, I spent time looking at and meditating there. Different Realities by Peter Boggs was hypnotic oils including some pieces from/on Boboli Gardens in Florence, where I've been. They were lovely. Interior Lives featured pieces from the larger collection depicting domestic spaces and including some beautiful works by Grace Cossington-Smith, a National Treasure for sure!

I still had time to kill so I made the most and read in the sun before meeting A and L at the movies. We saw Trainwreck - we had planned on seeing the Amy Winehouse doco but it was pushed back a week so we choose another Amy - and it was a lot of fun. No Oscar winner here, but that's ok, sometimes you need a mindless movie to just take it as it comes and have a laugh. There is definitely something charismatic about Amy and a scene stealing character from the always remarkable Tilda Swinton. Afterwards we had planned on visiting Parry Street Garage but you couldn't book and there was a very long wait, so we ended up at The Junction Inn and had a great meal, followed by a Blue Heaven milkshake from Jims - that's so Newcastle!

M and I dined at The Clarendon and then headed to The Playhouse for Dylan Thomas: Return Journey, a one man show/play. Bob Kingdom embodied Thomas during this 90 minute show, he was wonderful, witty, poignant. The show was pieces of his life, I guess taking from historical information and fleshed out, laced with his beautiful poems. The pieces were very funny, wry witted, and just lovely. The poems were, without a doubt, show stopping stunning. Every night at The Theatre should be this good!

The following night I headed to The Conservatorium to meet L and C for Visual Arts. This was a wonderful evening of homegrown Novocastrian Music, Film, and Dance. It was a magnificent collaboration with performers ranging from very young to 86. The music was a joyous combination of jazz, classical, and choral works, all modern and all composed by Novocastrian Frank Millward. All the music was backed by interesting visuals which added to the experience.

I also had a long weekend where I chilled at home, walked, read, and slept and I really needed that. I do got out a lot for an introvert, so these quieter weekends are really important to help me recharge my batteries and give me the quiet I often crave.

C and I had dinner at The Clarendon before spending a delightful evening at The Ballet. It was her maiden expedition to The Ballet and I loved seeing her excitement.

The second last weekend was intense, soccer semis, the new Woody Allen, Amy Winehouse doco, Hamlet, and Go Set A Watchmen. Sometimes I don't think these things through!

Irrational Man, the new Woody Allen, was pretty good. Not one of his best, but certainly better than most movies out there. I loved the dialogue and script, particularly the first half of the movie. Emma Stone was a delight as always, and Joaquin Phoenix also good. Lovely to see Parker Posey in a small role, shame it wasn't fleshed out better. The ending left a lot to be desired, and the plot kinda reminded me of Crimes and Misdemeanors, I must rewatch to see if Woody is starting to rehash!

My nephew won his semis for Soccer which was exciting. It was a tight match and you can see these young boys starting to grow into fine, athletic men. I was away for the finals, but they went down 1 point. Apparently he was gutted, but put in a gallant effort. That afternoon I headed for my Book Club to discuss the controversial Go Set A Watchman. You can read all about my thoughts leading up to, reading, and of course our discussion of the book here.

J, L and I had Napoli for dinner. I hadn't been there since it opened, and was pleased to see nothing much had changed. It was still as busy and popular as ever, and the food amazing. Pizzas as they are meant to be eaten, just like we did in Italy. Afterwards we saw Amy, the Amy Winehouse documentary.

M, J, C, and I dined at The Clarendon (yes it's the place to go before the theatre, mostly as parking is shite in Newcastle, and it's nearby and you don't have to move cars!) before M, C and I headed to The Civic for Bell Shakespeare's Hamlet. I do love Shakespeare, and had seen Hamlet a few times before, but this was a superb production. I have been quite open in my love and then unlove for Bell Shakespeare over the years. I feel they went through a rough patch where they just either tried too hard or not hard enough and the plays presented were ordinary. I kept the faith until they ruined my favourite, Macbeth, with a very ordinary production including a Coles plastic bag for the witches cauldron and the weakest Lady Macbeth I had ever seen. I think I even dozed off in parts!! It took a while for me to see them again but they won me back with a very wicked and clever Richard III a few years old. Hamlet was very edgy, modern, with a stasi edge of spying on the key character, in terms of reporting what was happening, which sounds convoluted but worked well. Hamlet was sexy and wild and completely mad, also hilariously funny. In fact, the play had been tweaked to include far more jokes than it usually had and it was all the better for it. Hamlet is touring still, so if you get a chance, it's a must see.

The month ended as it began with a lovely family dinner out at Verda Luna, for my sister, A's birthday. We had amazing Italian feast, followed by delicious Red Velvet Mudcake back at my parents.

And the final weekend I flew out to Melbourne for 10 days. I will blog about that very soon!!!

Here are my reviews: what I've been reading, watching, listening to.

And some photos...

How to kill a Mockingbird...or not

It goes without saying To Kill A Mockingbird is one of the world's most beloved books, and certainly a favourite of mine; one I return to and re-read regularly. But it doesn't make my top ten, possibly not even my top twenty (I've never done a top twenty books so I have no idea).

 

However, it is one of the most perfect books I've ever read. Beautifully written, powerful subject matter, melancholy and sentimental without being too schmaltzy (as some American novels can be), important historically, and really nothing you can find fault with.

 

It won the Pulitzer Prize for goodness sake!

 

The author, Harper Lee, is a thing of legends. One book. No more, no less. One perfect book and goodbye. A handful of interviews and no more.

 

I loved she was friends with one of my favourite authors, Truman Capote. Such an odd pairing, my fascination of them has always been piqued. There was always the rumours that Capote wrote To Kill A Mockingbird, but I never believed a word of them. Capote loved himself a bit too much to let someone else get away with all the glory that came with To Kill A Mockingbird. There is no way he would have stayed quiet on that one!!

 

This has been my truth and reality for most of my life having first read To Kill A Mockingbird when I was about 14. I have revisited it many times since, and the story never changed...until now.

 

When I first heard - quite early - rumblings of a 'second' book by Lee, my first - and ONLY - thoughts were, No good will come of this!

 

And I still think that...

 

Then all the articles came flying out, oh boy there were many. And like a good Librarian I did my research. So many about how wonderful it all was, so many about how awful it all was. Nellie - as Harper Lee is affectionately known - wanted this, Nellie is not of sound mind, her sister wouldn't let her do anything, her sister looked after her legacy. For every good article I read, I found a bad and vice versa. Everything balanced out so evenly you just couldn't be sure what was what! And to be honest, I do not think we ever will.

 

It does seem incredibly strange to me that her sister - who had looked out for Nellie all her life - dies and boom here comes the book. I don't think I can ever get over that. It seems quite foul to me.

 

The book - we now know as Go Set A Watchman - is not a prequel or a sequel, but a first draft. Yes, the kind of thing that most authors really wouldn't want anyone seeing. A first draft her publisher knocked back but sent her away with to make significant changes to. And who knows how many other drafts there were until To Kill A Mockingbird sung as it does. (And please please please do not say there are other drafts that may be published unless you want to see me really really really mad!)

This is what is being published, that first draft.

 

And so I waited and hoped it would die a quick death, but unfortunately this didn't happen. During this time, nothing was revealed, and all I thought to myself was if this does go ahead - and boy I wished it wouldn't - I really hope it doesn't denigrate the actual book, To Kill A Mockingbird. But I calmed myself with the thought that nothing could denigrate or taint the Pulitzer Prize winning International Treasure.

 

Then just before the publishing day, three major newspapers revealed (albeit under embargo) the plots in their reviews. I didn't want to read the reviews, I like to make up my own mind on things - even if it did seem I had already made my mind up - but I just couldn't help myself. I have no idea why! And for that I am ashamed. Now I must say here, I never do 'Click Bait' on the Internet, I consider myself a person of integrity, at the very least in my profession as a Librarian where - despite what you might have heard - books are still king!

But when the New York Times is reviewing a book that has so much history you want to hear what they say...until of course you read it and realise your worst nightmare is reality and what they say about Go Set A Watchman makes you feel physically ill....for days...so much so you wish you hadn't ordered a copy to buy yourself.

 

But, intent on all things truth and being a good librarian, I headed to my local bookshop and purchased the book. The fact I paid full price for it - where seemingly everywhere else had it discounted - added to my pain and honestly, I will remember that betrayal for a long long time. It sat in its paper bag for a long time.

 

An aside: I read many bookshops in the US were offering full refunds for those unhappy with the book - now that is customer service!!

 

And let me say while all of this is going on I had decided - in my un-infinite wisdom - to schedule a discussion on it at my Bookclub. Feelings were mixed, some were keen, some were not, others hated the idea, I came very close to pulling the plug and changing it to something else. I knew I had to read it, I feel it is part of my job to be informed on these titles. To comment on something I had not read seemed to lack backbone. So I put it out for a vote and most of the group felt we should discuss it, let's face it there was a lot to discuss.

 

Also during this time I was approached by local radio to discuss my feelings about it on air. I had so much to say - none of it terribly good - but I had not read the book. It would have been unwise to do so at that point so I declined.

 

10 days prior to Bookclub, I very wearily started the book. Over a couple of days I read it on and off - it is actually a book you could whip through in 1-2 hours, but I didn't have the stomach for that with this title - and then with about 30 or 40 pages to go stopped. I had intended to keep going, but I was busy and this meant leaving those pages to read until the day of Bookclub. This may not have been wise!! I finished the book, and being overly tired and mentally exhausted I slept for an hour and woke very confused. I still had time to write some words for this blog and to gather my thoughts for Bookclub and I ended up in tears, it was all too much. I guess that sounds overly dramatic. For the record, I am an emotional person, a cryer, I think most know that about me. But this was much more than that, I felt violated, sad for denigrated characters within the book, and concerned for how our lovely Bookclub would handle this...more on that later.

 

So the book - spoilers will be written from here, so approach with caution!

 

Scout - or Jean Louise as she is known now - is travelling from New York (where she lives and works - it never says what she does there) home on her yearly break, she is in her mid 20s. She is met at the train by her 'beau', Hank. Whilst she is home she is fussed over by her family and Hank, and then she comes across some very racist paraphernalia that belongs to her father and all hell breaks loose (for everyone involved, but especially the reader, the poor poor reader!) There are also flashbacks to her childhood, which is the time where To Kill A Mockingbird is set.

 

After Jean Louise finds these booklets, she follows her father to a 'meeting' at the Town Hall, and watches from above in the balcony. The white men of the town are meeting to talk about what to do with the black folk. It was a very disturbing scene - for Jean Louise and for me and I imagine for anyone who ever held To Kill A Mockingbird dear to their heart. Not just because you see our beloved Atticus as a foul racist, but it is set very similarly to one of my favourite scenes in To Kill A Mockingbird where Scout sneaks in to very same spot to see her father at work and for the first time sees him for the magnificent man he really is. Yes you can see the provenance - and indeed the ironic juxtaposition of the magical scene, but it still bites.

 

Later Jean Louise has it out with her beau - who was also at the meeting - it is a bad fight. Atticus finds them on the street, and wants to talk to his daughter. He is cranky with her, even calls her a bigot - because a bigot is someone who doesn't listen to the opinions of others (oh vey). She is very upset with her father and gives him what for. This goes on for too long. It is awful and clunky to read. He explains he initially joined the clan (WTAF!!) because he wanted to know - as the town lawyer - who was behind the masks, it was a kind of infiltration. But, of course, he didn't really stop anything. The meeting at the town hall was not the clan, but it may as well have been. Their reasoning was the blacks were an inferior race and if they - the whites - let them proceed they - the blacks - would not have the intelligence to handle the white way of life...sigh. The fight continues, Jean Louise leaves to pack and go back to New York never to return. Her uncle comes to chat her about her fight with their father, he HITS her, Atticus returns, they fight some more and he convinces her to forgive him and she does. There is more to it than that of course, but you get the idea. White, southern men do not come out very well...so I guess some things never change.

 

Nothing about any of this (in terms of the characters) rang true to me, it all felt forced, and nothing like the people we know and love. The flashbacks were more enjoyable, they felt right, and made me smile. But you know, for that feeling, I could have just re-read To Kill A Mockingbird. And this is where we need to remember IT IS JUST A DRAFT, IT IS NOT AN ACTUAL BOOK!!!!! And you can see why the original editor turned her away and asked her to concentrate on the childhood narrative and flesh that out more.

 

It wasn't well written, it wasn't badly written, it seemed like a turbulent mix of thoughts and ideas poorly put together. G, our wisest Bookclub member, felt it was an extraordinary editor to see that it could be turned into something better, something that became the masterpiece that is To Kill A Mockingbird. She is right!!!

 

I think that this book should not have been published. I feel very annoyed and betrayed at the system, at publishers, and at booksellers who push this. I'd love to know who is really benefitting financially out of this, and believe all proceeds should go to charity. I also have a lot of questions about the manuscript/draft that was published, was it really written by Lee and for real, and if it was for real, was it touched in anyway? My theory is it was real, but was not meant to be published, and that it was touched or tampered with. Jem, Scout's older brother, is barely a footnote in Go Set A Watchman, 'neatly' written off as he died, this is hardly mentioned. I believe he wasn't in this draft at all, and because people would want to know why (because as much as you explain it is a draft, some people will never quite grasp that concept!!), they added him briefly, but killed him off. It is messy and silly. There are a few other points that seem added, I don't know. I guess we'll never know and there is not much written out there about this part of the 'story'.

 

Bookclub was an interesting discussion as you can imagine, everyone had slightly different versions of the same thing. No one liked it, some hated it, no one loved it. We talked a lot about the different eras, that technically - as much as it was disliked - this draft of the book was probably a more 'correct' presentation of race relations of that area at that time, whereas To Kill A Mockingbird was more the ideal. And the ideal was infinitely a better book. We discussed the provenance of the draft, and what a great lesson in intellect and writing it was, to try and see how the draft turned into that masterpiece. This led to discussion on whether the draft was real, written by Lee, embellished by publishers, made up by publishers and every other scenario we could think of. Then even Mockingbird's authorship was discussed. I reluctantly wondered out loud if Capote had indeed assisted Lee...it made me feel sick to even say that, but the publication of this draft has undone my faith a little. Some felt the truth would come out at some point, I'm not too sure about that. There was talk about who would play who in the inevitable (Grrrr) movie of Go Set A Watchman.  We decided a younger Hilary Swank and Matthew McConaughey would be Jean Louise and Hank, lol! I really hope there is no movie!!!!!!

Never have we had such an intriguing, intelligent, passionate, and interesting discussion at Bookclub, especially with such a large attendance. I thank everyone for their kindness and support (to me, for daring to suggest such a book), their passion, their love of literature, their dedication to talking about this book, and every other book we discuss. Despite the fact none of us really liked it, it was a thrilling discussion. How nice it is to sit at a long table with smart, feisty women, and discuss and debate such things. I feel blessed to call each and every one of them my friends.

 

I am still very much thinking about all of this, it is still too fresh in my mind. I know when I push this blog - this very long blog - out into the ether there will be a zillion more things I wish I added, but it is already too long. Maybe I will revisit it in a month or so and write some more, but to be honest I am hoping that in a month or two I no longer think about the book at all, except to realise it was a complete and utter debacle!

 

Though I have realised this: I still revere To Kill A Mockingbird, my love of it and its perfection has not been tainted too badly, and I think in time the dints will disappear. And whilst I hated this new/old story, I didn't really see any of the characters as the characters I loved - except in the flashback scenes - Gregory Peck was still the righteous and perfect man he always was as Atticus. The 'new' Atticus seemed very one dimensional, I couldn't picture Peck (Peck and Atticus are forever one in my mind) as him, I read those sections almost numb and disbelieving. In fact, most of the characters seemed one dimensional and not fleshed out. So whilst it is horrific and this first version of Atticus is the thing of nightmares, the final evolved version of Atticus and indeed all of the characters are the correct ones, and the ones that will continue to live in my memory. The versions of them in this book are merely scribblings yet to be developed. This reasoning makes it easier to digest. And yes whilst the horror of Go Set A Watchman will most probably stay with me for a while, I was glad to have read it, and glad my gut - as always - was spot on. 

In the forthcoming weeks I will re-read and re-watch To Kill A Mockingbird to cleanse myself of this debacle, but I still need a little time before I can.

I would love to hear more thoughts and opinions, so please feel free to share them if you please.