JANUARY DIARY

Hello 2020 and to everyone who reads my humble little blog.

It's a new year and a new decade, so a little background information.

I started this blog back in late 2008 and it was a place to log all the cultural things I had done. Mostly as my memory was bad and I wanted to leave my thoughts on these things. I was also working on a A-Z project of my favourite songs from favourite artists. I got to C and never returned, lol!

It has evolved over the years...

Every month I do two entries, one is my reviews of books I have read, music and podcasts I have listened too, and movies and television etc I have watched. The other has been my Round Up or Diary of that month, things of note I have done, usually all things cultural, celebrations, eating out with family or friends or sometime just me. Over the years I have added things of a personal note, some work milestones, dating, and over the past few years my health, specifically mental health and my cancer journey. From this month I am renaming Round Up to Diary, because that is what it is.

Sometimes I do specialised entries, a long form review of a concert or show, a piece about an artist I like or something significant. At the beginning of the year I reflect on the year past with a few entries. My review lists of the past year. My reflections on the past year. And my hopes for the year ahead. Really it all comes down to time. I will admit my two regular monthly entries are more often than not simply second drafts bashed out quickly with a second look over for obvious mistakes. The more specific ones are looked over much more highly and slowly.

So the blog is for me, but if people get something out of it and enjoy it - and a lot of you seem to, that is fabulous too. Please enjoy!!

And so let's begin January 2020.

After a lovely laid back New Years Eve with my friend Alice, I had a lovely laid back start to the New Year with a lovely laid back sleep in. That first week of the year I was still on holidays, it was hot. I stayed in with the air con cranked up, sleeping, napping, reading, and catching up on television.

I went back to work after that feeling relaxed and fresh for a new year, a new decade.

It terms of being out and about, January was a quiet month. Mostly due to the weather, but also I was busy decluttering and saving money for my March holidays.

I caught up with Bobbie who I had not seen in a long while and we ate and toasted our single lives at The Mattara Hotel.

I caught up with a group of friends and we saw Fleabag on the screen at The Playhouse. This was my second viewing and it was even better, especially with a full house and close audience, laughing - or not - together. It made the experience more intense. She - Phoebe Waller-Bridge - is simply a genius, her observations of life, her humour, and her physicality. Especially her physicality, I lover everything about this lady! Afterwards we tried the new Chinese on Darby, Mr Rice, which has an amazing menu of Modern Chinese meals. Sooo very good.

Linda and I saw the wonderful French Film, The Truth, as part of the Six Summer Flicks. The Truth is about an ageing French Film Star (played by the magnificent Catherine Deneuve) who has released her memoir. Her daughter (the divine Juliet Binoche) flies in from the States with her husband (the always delightful Ethan Hawke) and daughter. Old niggles and issues rise from below the surface and drama ensues. It was superb, dramatic, funny, classy. The house it was mostly filmed it was something else too.

I ended up the month catching up with Mary for dinner on hot Friday night at Warners at the Bay. Good pub meal, and excellent company.

I did the usual markets this month.

I read and watched a lot, my reviews are here.

And I commenced my big declutter and deep clean of Club Cathy. For the past 2 years or so while I have been unwell, my cleaning approach has been a little lax. The place is of course clean and tidy, but it really needed a good go over. So I have been going over every nook and cranny and looking at all my stuff and getting rid of unnecessary items. I have been trying to recycle as best I can, but re-purposing some items, giving things away, and selling some things on facebook marketplace. As I go through my stuff, I am finding things I forgot I had and am now using. Rearranging spaces to make my life easier, find things easier etc etc. It is actually very cathartic. Also having the energy to get into spaces and scrub them clean means I am physically so much better which is also wonderful. I listen to my vinyl or podcasts while doing this, and time just goes. Not a bad way to spend time when you are trying to save money!

I am hoping to get it all done bar the garage and study before my trip. I will tackle those on my return! The garage isn't that bad, and the study is relatively tidy just holds a lot, so will take more time!

As usual here are some pics including one of me at work:

2020:let us roar!

2020 feels fresh and new.
I guess every new year does, but 2020, it feels super fresh and super new!

I cannot explain why, maybe because it is a new decade (but other than 2000, I've never felt that before), maybe the numbers 2020 (perfect sight, clarity, clearness), or maybe I am really hopeful my life will start to turn around after 2 less than stellar years.

I will be turning 50 this year and whilst I actually feel the best I have in a long, long time, despite the past 2 years, I feel because of the past 2 years I need to find something more meaningful to really move past the bad.

I haven't done resolutions in a long time.
And I have moved away from the whole list of things I want to achieve.
Life gets in the way and I'd rather try and live in the moment!
Appreciate what I do have. Find those transient moments of joy.

I intend on spending this year embracing whatever comes my way.

I don't want my life planned within an inch of itself.

I want space to breathe.

I want to sit still AND move fast, depending on what is going on.

I need to sit and daydream and watch the clouds form and think.

I also need to dance and walk and move.

Having said all that, there are things I need to do to help bring back a little clarity in my life. But only when they feel right and putting a time frame on them will only be harmful for my anxiety and stress levels. So I need faith and trust in letting things move mostly organically, with a little push when the time feels right!

They all revolve around one thing - where am I headed in my life or clarity of my being.

And such important decisions cannot be rushed.

The basics are better health (mental and physical), better finance, and removal of obstacles (things and people and self doubt).

I do have a lot of things I have been slowly changing and adding to my life over the past decade and I will continue to do them.

I feel I need to concentrate on four things to assist in this.

1. A Holiday - I really need a break, get away, soak in new surrounds. And I will. This is my treat for surviving cancer - well over a year ago - and I deserve it. It is nothing too fancy, but I am so looking forward to Womad and a couple of weeks exploring Adelaide followed by a week with my beautiful sister in Melbourne. I'll have a very well needed 5 week break from work to do this which will also incorporate a staycation which I love.

2. Cultural pursuits - this is my meditation. Music, Theatre, Film, Art, Literature, Photography, Flaneuring. However, what I really need to do is schedule more time to write. I have consolidated all my ideas from the past few years over the past week, and they need fleshing out. I seem to be good at writing the bones of an idea and then never returning to it. Time is often against me, I shall make the time this year. It will also help declutter my overfull mind!

3. Dream and think - I have a lot to think about, a holiday and cultural pursuits will calm me and settle me and clear my mind and allow better thoughts and ideas to filter through. At least that is how it works for me!

4. Helping others/change the world - one of the great things we can do in this life is to help others. Obviously working in a public library is the essence of that. But I can do more. I have a few ideas of where I can assist, little things, but they might make a difference. AND I read something about the Roaring 20s and the things we need to roar about. Politics, Climate Change, Poverty, Refugees, Sexism, Racism, Misogyny, Bullying, and Cancer. These are things that rattle me, so I will do whatever it takes to reduce them all and I am open to suggestions and assistance. We cannot stand back and let the world around us fail.

l obviously would like a stress and anxiety free year, but thing is I cannot completely control that. I can only control my actions and thoughts when confronted with less than stellar situations. I waded through a fair bit of chaos and fuckwittery last year, and it almost broke me and left me bitter. Almost!!!

So I will continue to be considerate and kind and zen and still and most importantly, hopeful. I can manage that. But I guess I need to be prepared for anything! Cause C'est La Vie!

Finally, I have been working on these thoughts since NYE, and just as I was finishing them I real Neil Gaiman's blog, and he wrote the following. So much more eloquent and far less verbose than me...sigh...that's why he's the gold standard!

"And I hope in the year to come you won't burn. And I hope you won't freeze. I hope you and your family will be safe, and walk freely in the world and that the place you live, if you have one, will  be there when you get back. I hope that, for all of us, in the year ahead, kindness will prevail and that gentleness and humanity and forgiveness will be there for us if and when we need them.

And may your New Year be happy, and may you be happy in it.

I hope you make something in the year to come you've always dreamed of making, and didn't know if you could or not. But I bet you can. And I'm sure you will."