I cannot remember how I came about Frank
by Amy Winehouse. I think I heard Valerie and loved it and bought it on a whim,
sounds about right. It's a great album, and her voice on those songs are
stunning. There was a truth and an old sensibility to it that has not dated to
this day.
I do remember the first time I heard Rehab, on
the radio, I loved it and its 60s soul stylings, I was hooked. The voice was
familiar, it took me a while to realise it was Amy, as the song was so different
to those on Frank. More polished, more joyous sounding (despite the lyrics), the
snappy filmclip was king and she was backed by Sharon Jones' Dap-Kings. I bought
Back To Black and was impressed, but not surprised, with what Mark
Ronson had done. I knew a little bit about Amy prior to this, but not a lot. I'm
not that interested in the lives of musicians unless they are talking about the
musicality of their art. Of course, some musicians you cannot help but learn
more about if they become huge and Amy's success with her second album had her
everywhere.
So I watched as her body got smaller, her hair
got larger, and her fame started to destroy her. As did everyone else. We read
about her addiction, laughed at her Rehab song when we realised, loved her
gumption and guts, worried about her father and her husband. But stayed in love
and in awe of her talent.
And that's the thing...she could really fucking
sing. She had a voice unlike any other modern female pop singer, except maybe
Aretha. She was in the league of Billie Holiday or Ella Fitzgerald. She could
REALLY sing. That voice killed me and the more I listened to Back To
Black, the more I re-listened to Frank. It was superior, maybe not
as polished, but deeper, rawer, more real, more Amy. To this day it is still my
preferred album. I did grow tired of Back To Black, you just heard it
everywhere. My theory has always been no matter how superb something is, over
saturation will kill it. Well for me, it does...and it did...sort
of.
Watching the documentary, made me
understand Back To Black a lot more, the poetry of those songs mirrored
the life she was living at that time. And there came a point where she simply
couldn't sing those songs any more, she wanted to more on from them and the
subject matter. Of course the public still loved and revered that album and
wouldn't let her. This was part of her undoing, and for that alone I will
struggle to listen to that album. It almost seems wrong to do so. I am sure in
time Amy would have overcome those thoughts and begun to love those songs again,
but the thing is we will never find that out.
My favourite memory of Amy was The Grammys at the
height of all of this. Amy was clean, sober, but couldn't get a Visa to attend
the ceremony. She performed live from London, it was a great performance. I
remember her childlike excitement and Amy-like honesty when she spoke. It broke
my heart she wasn't there to perform, meet her idols (she was introduced by Tony
Bennett and Natalie Cole), or receive her awards. I felt those around had let
her down. Yes, she obviously had issues, many do, but who was looking after this
headstrong, but fragile young girl?
It was at that precise moment in the Film
Documentary, Amy, that I broke down. I was surprised I had held it
together for so long. But it showed additional footage and you could see the awe
of her presenters and the realisation she had missed the boat (or plane) in
getting to meet them. Her eyes were so wide in surprise and her voice childlike,
saying, "Look Daddy, it's Tony Bennett." I just lost it, not doing so well
keeping it together writing this now to be honest.
Amy, is directed by Asif Kapadia. Asif
directed Senna, another superb documentary and as soon as I realised he
was behind this I knew she was in safe, considered hands.
The thing about documentaries today is all the
raw footage to be used, everything is documented regardless and Amy being a star
at this time presented so much for him to work with. It was seamless in look and
story - as was Senna - but you knew it was cleverly crafted to appear so. The
film delves more into her pre Back To Black days, and there was much I
didn't now or only minorly suspected. Her lifetime friends, and early management
and working partners were interviewed throughout the film as voiceovers and it
was heartbreakingly effective. These were the people behind the scenes trying
desperately to save her. But the gravy train was working hard and they had much
to get in their truly altruistic ways.
To see her life and it highs and lows presented
in roughly two hours was a rough watch, even when it was lovely and beautiful
you were thinking, well this could have been... And when things were rough, they
seemed concentrated and moreso up on the big screen. But harsh as her reality
was, there was much empathy for the girl. My friend J said she had the talent of
an old soul but the emotion of someone much younger than she actually was, and
she couldn't reconcile the two. This is true, add in addiction and some enablers
and it kind of writes itself.
Of course we all know how this story ends, but it
is rough to watch. I remember when I heard about her death, I was so upset but
not at all surprised. It seemed inevitable, to me, and to anyone I talked to.
And that is what hurts the most about it all, if the world knew, why didn't
those around her know. Well, some did, the friends and her bodyguard seemed to
be the only ones trying but she had so many more not trying, the walls were too
high.
It's not the first time this has happened, so
many have had similar experiences before her, and I suspect many more to come.
This continues to make me sad.
And whilst I paint a depressing portrait, I
assure you this film is worth watching. Because you get to see the joy when she
is enjoying her music, her writing, her singing. That alone is worth the price
of admission.
My favourite bit in the film is when she is
recording with Tony Bennett, for his duets album. She is beside herself with
joy, nerves, and everything in between, you can tell in her eyes, her body
language, and she says it too! Tony is just lovely, he knows how she is feeling.
She is singing well but asking the recording to stop. She sounds great, but not
great enough in her mind. To a lay person, you think she is being precious. Tony
says it all when he says something like it's ok, I understand, you want to get
it just right, I have all day. She starts to relax and then nails it. It's spine
tingling, she knows it, Tony knows it, the camera cuts to this wry smile of
delight that Tony gives her. They finish the song and embrace. I wept for all
that could have come and all that we missed. I wasn't alone in my
tears.
If you were a fan or even if you were not, this
is a great film, an important film, and one very much worth
watching.
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