2015 was a great year, the best I have had in a long time.
Of course with greatness, there is always darkness, my theory is the
darkness helps you connect better with greatness!
So the darkness first, cause as much as I like to write about happy, it is
equally important to write about the opposite. You gotta keep it real. So most
of the darkness this year is pretty much everyone else’s darkness...boy the
world got very intense and rather fukt! From Syria to Paris, the embarrassment
of Tony Abutt, the state of politics and the rise of the far right (or reich, am
I right!?!), the poor treatment of women, racism, sexism, misogyny, and war and
hate and killing. Makes you want to make your own little republic and be very
selective in who you let join you! With all of those atrocities came greatness,
you see the beautiful, kind, and considerate people rise above the hatred, it
felt like a minority (which is actually worse than the list itself) but at least
these people were there, you and me - regular people hoping for a better world.
The other half of my darkness came from within, I started the year with a deep depression, but also incredible love, knowing people had my back and they loved and cared for me, it didn’t take long to break the chains of the black dog. So by the second half of the year I felt pretty much back to regular me. Yes this horrid disease lurks beneath the surface and rears it’s ugly head from time to time, but the bounce back is brief, which is all you can ask for. Within this depression, my old fiend, anxiety, also returned...bigger and better than ever. You gotta love that! A mix of depression and anxiety is pretty freaking awful I tell you, you feel like the push me, pull me creature from Doctor Doolittle, you just don’t know what the fuck is going on and it takes all your worth to put one foot in front of the other and get everyday things done. And I did, I got everyday things done, and I slept a lot and I cried a lot – and this may sound awful, and it is, but it is also important, life changing, and totally appropriate and necessary to move through such a period and reclaim greatness.
The other half of my darkness came from within, I started the year with a deep depression, but also incredible love, knowing people had my back and they loved and cared for me, it didn’t take long to break the chains of the black dog. So by the second half of the year I felt pretty much back to regular me. Yes this horrid disease lurks beneath the surface and rears it’s ugly head from time to time, but the bounce back is brief, which is all you can ask for. Within this depression, my old fiend, anxiety, also returned...bigger and better than ever. You gotta love that! A mix of depression and anxiety is pretty freaking awful I tell you, you feel like the push me, pull me creature from Doctor Doolittle, you just don’t know what the fuck is going on and it takes all your worth to put one foot in front of the other and get everyday things done. And I did, I got everyday things done, and I slept a lot and I cried a lot – and this may sound awful, and it is, but it is also important, life changing, and totally appropriate and necessary to move through such a period and reclaim greatness.
I am – surprising as it may seem – a very private person, believe me there
is a lot about me I do not share. But I think it is important to talk about the
bad, the dark, the horrid...because it is an equaliser. This I know, as the more
I write and converse about such things, the more I have others engage with me
about their own issues. And this is so very important and weirdly comforting. So
I shall continue to share the realities of my life (to a certain extent) to
assist whoever needs it and to make others uncomfortable, because talking about
reality should not be an uncomfortable thing.
And you know, in the grand scheme of things, life wasn’t so bad, it could
have been a hell of a lot worse.
And so onto the greatness.
2015 – I started the year with the following: focusing on
positives and the ground work I laid for this year, live in the moment and do
what I was meant to do, let fate and adventure take it’s course, and hope to
meet someone...and I did all of that and more, ok I have not met ‘the one’ but I
did meet a lot of new people!
I also planned to do my Project 42 for life and I have
been following those little guides I set up a few years back and find they
really keep my life on track, and I figure if I can be organised at work, why
not at home too! Project Read – this I definitely did, I read
so many great books this year, and finally Project Declutter,
YES! I finished this too, although I look at both of these as ongoing
projects. The key to all of this is set acceptable goals and projects that have
meaning, you know you can achieve, but still push you without causing
stress!
Work was great this year, if I may say so myself.
My terrific team worked hard and we had a lot of fun doing our regular work on
top of special projects and event. Proud of these guys and it’s my pleasure to
work alongside of each and every one of them all year round. On a personal note
I worked on a lot of special projects, was guest speaker for a few local groups,
attended the IAML conference at APRA headquarters, helped establish the
wonderful Share the Story with Carol Duncan, and ended the year on a high
recruiting two new staff members for Swansea and receiving my 25 years of
service.
Dating – yep I embraced online dating in the last quarter
of the year. And that has been very interesting, challenging, heart breaking,
and fun. But that’s life hey? And when you are looking for a life partner, I
expect no less. I am in no hurry, geez I just turned 45, I have no internal
clock (hurrah!!!) and I am after the right match for me. I’m happy to wade
through toads to find him...wherever he may be!
Personal Stuff – I got glasses, a new car, and a new
laptop. I decluttered my study and turned it into a room of tranquillity and
inspiration. I holidayed in Melbourne. I turned 45 without too much drama!
Art – as always I soaked up a lot of Art. The Pop into
Popism exhibit at NSW Gallery, Chuck Close at MCA, Archibald prize at Maitland
Art Gallery, Midnight Oil exhibit at Newcastle Museum, David Bowie exhibit at
ACMI, Catherine the Great exhibit at NGV, Hellenic Museum Melbourne, Orry Kelly
exhibit ACMI, Frank Gehry building at UTS Sydney, and the Mambo Exhibit at
Newcastle Art Gallery.
Culture including Books, Film, DVDs, Music - I
experienced a lot of great culture this year, stay tuned for my Top 10 lists! I
loved this years Oscars. I had Ukulele lessons.
Festivals and Shows – Newcastle Writers Festival, Carriage
Shed Film Festival, Absinthe, Go Elsewhere, APRA concert, French Film Festival,
TRavelling Sydney Film Festival, Australian Ballet, Many great local theatre
productions, The Lion King, Bell Shakespeare’s Hamlet, Fleetwood Mac, This is
Not Art Festival, The Doubleclicks, Hunter Valley Gardens Lights, and Star
Wars!
Interesting people I saw – Neil Gaiman, Peter Lewis, Lisa
Heidke, Megan Washinton, Daniel Johns, Steve Smyth (three times), Jon Ronson,
John Safran, Magda Szubanski, and Barry Morgan.
I also got out and about, ate out a lot, and walked and explored my
neighbourhoods including the lake, beach, and inner suburbs. All the while
documenting and diarising my life through my blog, photography, and other SM
applications. I love sharing what I am up, but mostly it’s just a record for me,
so that fact that others interact and enjoy my musings makes me happy.
And finally the most important aspect of my life are the people I share it
with. Family and friends – you all know who you are. Without you, there would be
no me. That’s the honest truth. You have my back, keep my head above water, keep
me smiling, and let me know it’s ok to have bad days and are always around to
share whatever life throughs at me. I love you all.
I will be posting my Top Tens and hopes for 2016 over the next day or
so.